When you’re a busy parent, marriage can tend to fall a little…flat sometimes. Whether intentional or not, it takes WORK to keep the spark alive. And, doesn’t that ‘spark’ (or maybe the lack thereof) feel a little more “all up in your face” around Valentine’s Day? I got married back in February 2011, so you better believe my husband and I make our partnership a priority. But rekindling the spark in marriage is something that will always be on our ongoing to do list.
With V-Day looming, I reached out to Boca Raton therapist Lori Lundin-Fish, PhD, LMFT of Palm Beach Therapy Center, for some love advice.
Because this Boca mom wants to be on fire when it comes to her marriage! 😉
Rekindling the Spark in Marriage: 5 Tips from a Boca Therapist
Tip 1: Accept that your marriage isn’t perfect
Dr. Lori: First, accept the fact that relationships are hard work and never perfect. Most relationships experience a difficult period at some point, whether it is normal everyday stressors such as finances and work, or life changes such as the birth of a child, or a move to a new home.
One of the secrets to having a long lasting “hot” marriage lies in utilizing constant eye contact, providing mutual support, building each other up, and providing validation to each other’s hurts. It sounds like a lot, but a relationship of understanding and trust can be part of the formula for a steamy marriage!
Tip 2: Stay away from cliché
Dr. Lori: In order to rekindle that spark, it is helpful for couples to check in with one another and create an open and respectful path of communication. Acknowledge stressors and difficulties from the past, and use the opportunity to renew your dedication to each other.
Have a deep meaningful conversation and focus on reorienting your attention to where you would like to be as a couple and what would need to change or take place in order for you to get to where you want to be together. Make sure to listen instead of responding and provide validation. Sometimes those conversations can lead to a romantic day of love and connection, without needing the cliché roses or chocolate!
Tip 3: Learn your partner’s love language
Dr. Lori: Learning your partner’s love language is incredibly important in maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. This is the way we understand and accept love, as well as how we give and receive love to others. And remember, your love language will likely be different than your partner’s. One’s love language is meaningful as it allows the person receiving it to feel cared for and appreciated by their significant other. Remember to consider your partner in this matter and love them based on their love language, not your own.
Tip 4: Get away for the weekend…alone or with friends
Dr. Lori: I believe that “missing your partner” truly depends on each couple and their relationship together. Spending time apart may certainly welcome connection as couples begin to reflect during their time apart and begin to miss one another’s company. In addition to having a romantic relationship, many couples also develop a deep and meaningful friendship together in sharing interests, stories, ideas, emotions. Sometimes the things we take for granted in our daily lives and relationships provide more meaning than we may realize; people tend to recognize the absence of these elements when they are removed.
Tip 5: Take care of yourself FOR your marriage
Taking care of yourself is always important whether you are in a marriage, relationship, or even living the single life! Proper self-care is a vital necessity in connecting with your true self and preventing stressors from having too much of an impact in your life. In any relationship, it is suggested that couples prioritize their quality time together as well as time to focus on independent hobbies or interests. Allowing these freedoms to engage in self-care for one another sends a message to your partner that you support their joy and their happiness. And this support may then also lead to a stronger bond…and spark in your marriage!
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Sponsored: This rekindling the spark in marriage blog post was sponsored by Palm Beach Therapy Center. All opinions expressed in this blog post are my own and not influenced in any way by the sponsor. Any statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with provider. Please refer to this site’s Disclosure for more information and I have been compensated, but that does not impact my views or opinions.
