What Money Really Does to a Marriage | March Marriage Challenge

This post is part of the March Marriage Challenge series hosted by The Eyes of a Boy  #marchmarriagechallenge

Money. Some people love to talk about it. Other people think it’s taboo. In Boca Raton, money is everywhere. It’s in the big houses on the water, in the Bentleys valeting at Mizner Park.

Since I grew up down here, I learned early on that competing over ‘stuff’ wasn’t worth it. It doesn’t make you happy. And when I met my husband, I quickly learned he felt the same way.

March Marriage Challenge Modern Boca Mom
Andy’s and my first photo together…there were cocktails involved 😉

We lived in New York City while we were dating, through our engagement and for the first few years of our marriage. It was a charmed life. I worked at a boutique public relations agency and slowly worked my way up to a Director title and six figures. My husband, even though he wasn’t quite up to my salary level, had an exciting job in documentary film that he really enjoyed. We made the most of city life and never  had to seriously worry about money.

March Marriage Challenge Modern Boca Mom

Before I became pregnant with #dailybocaavery, we made the decision that we would relocate to South Florida near my family once we had a baby. NYC wasn’t really a viable option for us with no relatives or grandparents anywhere nearby. My husband would resign from his full time position and go freelance while he handled the bulk of the childcare. I would work remotely at my PR agency and commute to NYC as needed. We had a foolproof plan…or so I naively thought.

March Marriage Challenge Modern Boca Mom

Then came baby…

Babies change everything. Duh.

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Sleepless nights, hormones, distractions…uprooting ourselves and moving across the country (at least in our case). Needless to say, it caused a lot of stress. I started to hate my job. But, since I was the primary breadwinner, I felt a lot of pressure to keep it to support my family.

And then, that job wasn’t an option anymore. I was let go. Via voicemail to boot. Lovely, after 6+ years at a company…

So there we were in Boca Raton. With a 10 month-old baby. In a house only half renovated. Two parents with no full time job between the two of them. Very little savings. No insurance. I had never been more scared or devastated in my life.

Any Type A person can relate to this– when something big happens to you…and not exactly on your terms, it’s hard, really hard, to accept.

But, that time period in our lives showed me how much stronger our marriage was than money.

We buckled down and limited our spending to the absolute necessities. I started this blog and hit the pavement, rallying to secure sponsors and supporters for ModernBocaMom.com. I even surprised myself and discovered that I like having my own business. My husband worked his contacts and took any odd job he could find until we figured out our next move.

We truly tried to look at this difficult financial time as an opportunity to nail down what to do next as these two new people: mom and dad. 

March Marriage Challenge Modern Boca Mom

No, we were no longer the same couple who had lived it up in NYC a few years back. We had new goals, new priorities…and that team mindset really strengthened our bond as man and wife.

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I’m not going to say there weren’t tears (there were A LOT) or fights. I think the worst part of that time in our lives was having a constant knot in my stomach, wondering how we were going to pay our bills each month. I also felt like a personal failure. It was HARD.

But now I know that money (or the lack of) will never break us. We are motivated, hardworking parents who are lucky enough to have the unconditional love and support of our families and friends. We would move mountains for our daughter and for each other.

And that is priceless.

March Marriage Challenge Modern Boca Mom
March Marriage Challenge 2017

This post is part of the March Marriage Challenge series hosted by The Eyes of a Boy #marchmarriagechallenge

Check out the other posts in the March Marriage Challenge:

March Marriage Challenge 2017

March Marriage Challenge: Pin for Later

17 thoughts on “What Money Really Does to a Marriage | March Marriage Challenge”

  1. So nice to see couples make it through tough times and come out stronger on the other end! Thank you for sharing as a part of the 2017 #MarchMarriageChallenge

  2. My husband and I have never made much money. We were both school teachers for years, and now I blog and he’s still a teacher. We’ve never cleared 6 figures combined. But when you have less, you realize how much more you can do with it. You realize the value of experiences over possessions, moments over purchases. You guys have really gotten to experience the best of both – You know what it’s like to live a life of luxury, but also a life of making the most of what you have. I’m glad you have made it work for your family!

  3. Thanks for sharing this story. I really had no idea you lived in NYC or struggled that way. It’s nice to know that your marriage is strong enough to stick it out.

  4. Beautiful! So happy you guys pulled through it! And oh my gosh!!! I love that first picture of you nd Andy! 🙂

  5. Very nice article. It feels like it was all yesterday reading the article, having been there for each of those steps. And I’m so incredibly happy for you guys to have found so much happiness, fulfillment, and success despite the curve balls. Great job making lemonade.

  6. Money will surely bring all the impurities of marriage to the top. I am so glad you all have this beautiful story of overcoming to share. Many need to know that it does get better. Thanks for sharing, you have a beautiful family!

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