You can’t pour from an empty cup. I always joke that in my case it’s more of a wine glass or coffee mug…but, the bottom line is that us moms need to take care of ourselves FIRST, so we can take care of OTHERS. It’s not easy to do–I get it! Yet it turns out that self-love is key to being a well-rounded parent both in Boca Raton and beyond.
I reached out to Boca therapist, Lori Lundin-Fish, PhD, LMFT of Palm Beach Therapy Center to discuss further…
Parents, especially mothers, have a hard time putting themselves first. Why is it so important?
It’s true! Mothers are constantly so busy taking care of their families that they sometimes neglect their own needs. It seems like many moms have thought: “I’m so tired, I should really get that massage.”
But that massage rarely happens, right?
That’s because moms are typically running around, checking things off their ‘To-Do List’, making sure the groceries and laundry are put away, the kids are picked up safely from school, and everyone has a warm meal to return home to. The tasks and responsibilities simply never end. But, the day certainly does and the hours pass by quickly which means something will need to be “sacrificed”. This something will be pushed back on a mom’s list of priorities and that something is typically herself. That’s why self-love is key.
I looked up the true definition of a “mother” and this is what I found from, The Odyssey: “The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else.”
Sounds about right! No pressure?!?! This definition even states a mother places everyone else’s needs before her own.
It is important to care for your loved ones, but a woman’s sense of self should also be taken into close consideration. If parents fail to address their own needs, interests, and desires, they will run the risk of exhaustion. This will negatively impact their emotions and perceptions. These perceptions influence their sense of self, sense of reality, as well as their relationships with others which is important.
How does self-love benefit the family as a whole?
When mothers practice self-love, it seems to benefit the family unit. Mothers play significant roles in raising their children and within their marriage. If a mother is struggling, chances are their loved ones will feel it too. Self-love is key!
Just as a rock thrown in the water creates a ripple effect, the same is true for love. Self-love or the lack of self-love impacts a woman’s thoughts, speech, and body language, therefore impacting everything and everyone surrounding her. In practicing self-love, it is likely that mothers will feel a sense of confidence, freedom, happiness, and satisfaction with her life and family overall.
What can this practice teach our children?
When mothers practice self-love and self-compassion, they are teaching their kids a valuable lesson–to do the same. Children are very bright and often mimic what they see in their role models. When a parent illustrates these things, they are simultaneously illustrating a positive attitude + self-respect. They are not only prioritizing themselves, but also showing the impact of confidence, strength and even forgiveness. This can be empowering for young minds who are still learning basic skills in life!
Any other tips?
Don’t forget to love yourself. Live your life as fully and intentionally as possible. As Brene Brown once said, “Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love.”
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